100+ Wife Funny Birthday Wishes — Hilarious as hell 😅

It is always nice to have funny banter between husband and wife. And what could be more appropriating to give some hilarious wishes to Wife than her birthday? But coming up with original wishes is far from easy. And this is why we have written this post. Here you will find plenty of stomach-aching messages that you can give to your wife on this special occasion.

There is no best thing in the world than to work as a servant for the woman you adore with all your heart. It is the life I always wanted. 😁 And I sincerely wish my dear wife enjoys tons of more years for that!

Many a times, its really funny that the wife thinks she is punishing the husband by not talking to him.

When it comes t multi-tasking with inefficiency, the wives can certainly beat the robots.

My wife has been dieting since a couple of days so that she can gorge on food tonight like the usual pig. Don’t worry darling because I am gonna do the same tonight!

Dear Wife! I have decided to change my habit this year of taking lesser time to bath than you.

The best wife in the world is the one who can tolerate her husband’s fart and snore for so many years. May every man gets a wife like you darling.

I know that your secret wish is not to remain young forever but to have me age faster than you.

I have seen see you achieve so many goals and visions, in your dreams. Now I guess it’s time to bring some of those into reality.

It is amazing that a year has passed by without you committing any mistake. Some feat to achieve dear wife!

With every passing year,
You are aging like a fine wine!
And I am going to taste
every bit of you tonight!😋😜😝

Your white shiny teeth reminds me of the stars in the space. Thanks to the dentists for the great work!

It takes 15 hours to make a wife happy whereas it takes only 5 minutes for the wife to make her husband happy.

It is hard to have a functioning brain and mind when your stunning look wife stares deeply into your eyes.

It is rare and nice to have a wife who remains sloppy and lazy just like his wonderful husband. Great partnership it is!

To my dear wife! You can appear slutty and gorgeous to your hubby every night by just pushing two glasses of wine down his throat. Why spend the hard-earned money on various makeups and dresses.

The unwritten clause of marriage is to never ever make fun of Wife’s dressing while she can vent her sarcasm to the husband whenever needed.

There are times when I am feeling enraged and thinking about something important. At those moments, I may see my wife’s face and more often than not, it makes me even more angry 🤣

If there would be an Oscar for making your husband feel guilty even if you commit mistakes, then it would certainly go to my gorgeous wife.

People only know of the Drama Queen but I will show them how to be a Drama King. Happy Birthday to my wife by the way!

I am wishing you all my love and blessings and I am also praying that you do not ask for an expensive gift today.

My wife has taught me how to burp and fart silently so that no human being in proximity comes to know about it. Thank you dear for teaching me those valuable social skills.

Lucky is the man whose wife acts like a slutty girlfriend while making out.

My love for my wife is more than my love for my football team, and that’s a lot.

When you disagree & fight with me a, I recuperate myself by playing the Dart game with your picture to aim at.

When my wife makes me angry, I tend to stare at her beautiful face while she is sleeping, because at that time I am cursing her without her knowing it.

It is hard to decipher for what exactly I am happy today. Is it for your birthday or the fact that you are going to prepare a special meal for me?

You should write down one book which will be extremely popular i.e. “How to nag the living hell out of your husband so that he stays quiet — for starters”

One wise decision of our life is enough to balance the hundreds of mistakes, like how you did the right thing by marrying me.

While choosing the gift, it’s a courtesy to remember the nicest things and gifts that the other person gave to you on your birthday. I am keeping that courtesy in mind and therefore, sending you no gift but only a nice smile.

Age is only a number my dear wife. As long as you keep feeling like a teenager from inside, you are fine and me too.

Today is the day when you would need all the energy in the world to blow out all the candles. I don’t want you to be passed out while doing so. By the way, a very happy birthday to you.

I take pride in my skills for finding untapped opportunities for making more money. My wife takes pride in her skills in finding new avenues for spending my money. Truly a match from the divine.

I really wanted to gift you an anti-ageing cream on this birthday but I knew none of them would work on you.

For some people, it’s not the tough things that get going, but the hard boots on their behind. What is your lovely opinion about it, dear wife?

Nothing is harder for a man to reply to wife upon asking “How do I look in this dress ?” when she is looking the total opposite of what you *have* to reply.

Some of the most productive day to day decisions I have made when my wife was sitting on my ***. But a very lovely birthday to you dear.

It’s a skill for a woman to look an absolute stunner on one day and a drop-dead hideous on the other. Some skill you have my lovely wife.

There are some sections of our house where I should be prohibited to enter. That place is the kitchen. I know you agree with it but don’t be happy dear wife, because you too should be prohibited to enter it.🤣

Some of our late-night talks are awe-inspiring and at other times, they make me feel as if you served some time in the mental asylum.

Darling do you know why does the popcorn bounce up so high on the hot pan ??? Well, my dear, you should try to sit on a hot pan and then you will come to know.🤣

At times, I feel angry of you because you sometimes make me laugh out so hard like an idiot in front of everyone.

Some things in life are hard to imagine, like you and me sharing a common space despite our opposite personalities. But as they say, it is the opposites only which attracts the others.

You are so damn pretty that I could eat you, smell you, touch you, feel you, and even see when my eyes are closed. Where else you could have found such a husband like me!!

For the first 100 years of their lives, the wives are genetically built to nag their husbands.

To all dear wives! The best way to attract a man sexually is not to pour makeup but to serve drinks to him. Two bottles of wine are all it takes for you to appear as Amber Heard.

People do become more attractive with years. I am inclined to believe that. What you say dear Wife?

Dear Wife! You should not complain about lesser space on our bed because your tummy is now covering most of it.

When God intends to design a feminine, beautiful, gorgeous, and nymphomaniac, he considers the physical and emotional attributes of my wife.

Sending you a quick text message of birthday at 12 a.m. Who knows I may forget to wish tomorrow morning.

After I got married, I never longed for a thriving wisdom. I only care to keep the remaining intact for as long as I could.

In the court of marriage, it is always the wife who is right, no matter who did what.

Today is the day when so many horny bastards will send you an awesome birthday wish despite knowing that you are married. I feel pity for those men though 🤣

They say that napping is good for health. I whole heartily believe in it and often do it when my wife is taking hours to prepare for a 1-hour outing.

Thank you for allowing me to have all the likes and comments form our pics on FB. I will always be grateful to you for it.

Dear Wife! I am sure you have realized by now that men are like dogs but only for the first 100 years of their life.

Some people in this world get inspired by the motivation quotes. But for others, a straight wild kick to their butt does the perfect job. What is your great opinion about it, dear Wife!! 😅

Today is the day when I deeply thank my mother in law and father in law. The mother in law for imparting you the gorgeous looks and the FIL for the wisdom.

Even after so many years, I still want to hug you tight like when I did to you for the first time. And that’s some unbelievable achievement for you.

You definitely saw a lot of intangible qualities in me like hard work, ambition and the respect I command from my peers but I definitely saw a lot of tangible qualities in you before marriage 😋 , along with the intangible ones ofcourse.

It is the unspoken agreement of every marriage that the wife can laugh at his husband but the same liberty is not granted to the husband.

I have worked for several bosses in my life but the supreme Boss of my life will always be my wife.

Anticipation is the best gift…

Over the years, I have realized that the biggest pleasure comes from our anticipation of the gifts. Keeping in view of this wisdom and of your wonderful birthday, I have decided to send you a nice gift for your next birthday. May you, till then, remain fulfilled with the pleasure of the anticipation.

It is extremely hard to remember my own birthday, let alone of others, especially of my wife who lives as if every day of the year is her birthday.

You may be fret about a turning a year older but at least you are way younger than your birthday 2 years from now.

To my dear wife, when the going gets tough for you, your husband gets going.

On this auspicious occasion, I am sending you a ton of wishes, blessings, and my eternal love. I am also sending a special gift to you dear 😊 along with the invoice too. I hope you keep the change ready for the Cash on Delivery person.

Legends have it that the happiness of your wife depends on how much she speaks and how much you stay quiet. Now, I don’t remember when was the last time I spoke my heart out.😂

More often than not, it is not the husband’s wishes that the wife craves but his expensive gift and outing for the birthday.

Dear Wife! You got to smile your heart out like a sunflower as long as you have all the teeth to show.

How does it feel to acquire some skills like coughing, sneezing and laughing at the same time?

The secret of staying young for a woman is to find a man who treats her young and wise at the same time, even if the reality is totally different.

It takes an immense amount of hard work, skill, and effort in order to find the best wishes for the special wife on the Internet. It is great that we have to help hands such as Facebook and Google. God bless them both. As for me, I deserve a special wine and dine treatment for so much effort.

God gave you plenty of beauty that can…😆

God gave you plenty of beauty that can compensate for your lack of grey matter at times. I wish I could have that too to help me compensate for my stupidity too.

All the success I owe to my dear wife. She has been the relentless force to propel me with her criticism and strong words. All kudos to you dear. That’s what wife is there for Isn’t it lovely!

It is wrong to say that women are ruled by emotions. They are only ruled by romance, sex and mystery.

God make you like walking Viagra and it is hard for me to behave normal if you do not fall under me once in two days.

You may be turning older with every birthday but your bedroom activities are resembling that of a teenager with every passing year. I wish the trend continues but not too much also.

There is surrealism in making someone happy in your life, even if means you lose all your hairs and your face become the hub of wrinkles.

Your beauty is compelling for any man in this world. It can even bring a corpse back into life. This so much gorgeousness is leveled by your fart which can turn a living man into a corpse. RIP to so many mosquitoes who have gone to heaven because of it.

It is strange that how a single person can illicit fun, laughter and anger also at different times. Must give you credits dear wife!

Dear Wife! Its not that you read slow and grasp a lot, it is actually that you are a slow learner.

Love is the intangible yet powerful force which no other thing can match. So today, on your birthday, I am sending you lots of birthday wishes, blessings and love my dear and no gifts.

I will always be grateful of the divine that our children adopted the gorgeous looks from their mother and the awesome wisdom and intelligence from their fathers. Things wouldn’t have been strange if they would have adopted those two from the vice versa.

It is the special day of your life and I hope you will prepare a special meal for your hubby too as he is the one who makes you feel like a Queen.

Today is the day when you will be needed to use every muscle of your mouth in order to blow out all the candles on the birthday cake. I hope you practice before.

No matter how much money I earn …😆

Isn’t it amazing that no matter how much money I earn, my dear wife is always up to spending 90% of it? Some awesome skills you have dear.

When I am awake I love to pull my wife’s leg. And when am asleep, my snoring does the job too. Thank you for your compliance dear wife!

Insanity is when the wife keeps asking for more but does not know what exactly she wants. Its the problem with all the women in the world.

You always say that it’s my zeal and inner motivation that keeps me striving for the best. But I think its also the sight of your behind that surges my motivation and blood too.

To me, my wife will always be young, dynamic and charming because every time I ask how old she is, she says 18 years.

There is insane pleasure in making love to a woman who looks like Bellatrix Lestrange from Harry Potter. I hope my dear wife fulfills that wish today.

Today I will admit…

That there are only few people in this great world who can pull my legs, make fun of me and still not get a wild kick on their behind. Don’t laugh dear wife because you are not one of them. 🤣

Over the years, I have realized that a good wife is always forgiving, especially when she is the one who did the blunders.

Since today is the birthday of my gorgeous Wife, I want to admit a funny fact that when I need to laugh out like a maniac, I look at her funny pictures. I am sure you also do the same thing my dear wife.

Is it wrong to admit that your wild orgasms turn me on and make me laugh at the same time!

The happiness of my wife is due to the fact that I am looking older and weirder than her with every passing year.

The best thing my wife learnt way back was how to stay young, charming forever, by lying through the teeth of course.

For some men (and women too!) wisdom can not only increase but can also spiral down in the reverse direction. My own has reduced to half it used to be owing to a nice person. By the way my dear wife, a very happy birthday to you!

Thank you TyohaarUtsav for allowing us to take help from your article

Closing thoughts

When there are fun and occasional laughter between the husband and the wife, then the relationship remains spicy, alive like a roller coaster ride. And that’s what a healthy relationship is like. The happy birthday occasion of your beautiful wife is the perfect moment to give her funny, stomach aching, and light-hearted wishes. We are sure that you have enjoyed reading those wishes. Feel free to leave your valuable feedback in our comment section. It means a lot to us.

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