Humans are social beings. Its an understatement to say that we want the company of like minded people. Studies have shown that people who have many friends and well-wishers often enjoy longevity, health and better quality of life. But meeting new people and befriending them in your 30s is very different from your twenties.
By the time we have reached thirties, for most of us, our workplaces and families naturally starts to demand most of our time. It becomes very difficult to keep the same level of outing and time spending with our childhood and college friends as they themselves get involved in their family lives. Since most of our time (apart from the families) is spent with other people, therefore it becomes extremely important to befriend new people.
And that’s what this post is all about. We will show simple ways to make new friends in your thirties. Whether you are away from your childhood friends, or looking to make new friends because the old friendships have turned sour, making new friends in your 30s should not be difficult.
But before you try to befriend new people, let us first tell you the places where you can meet them first.
- The Online World: – Facebook, Instagram, Bumble BFF, Hey! Vina are some of the popular online websites to meet new people.
- Gym/ Fitness classes
- Volunteer places
- Live Events
- Grocery Stores
- Your Workplace of course : – But we are not a fan of making new friends at the workplace. It is good, in fact necessary to share a healthy rapport with them but if we are talking about making friends from office, it is usually not something we recommend.
Author’s Tip : – Go to places alone
When you do outing alone, you increase the odds of meeting not only interesting people but also to create some positive impression upon them. Even if some similar minded folks are looking to meet new people, they may be hesitant to introduce themselves to you or to talk longer with you because your are out with your friends or acquaintances.
Once you have made acquaintances, its now important to include necessary traits in our personality in order to befriend someone in your thirties
While befriending people and trying to impress them for a romantic relationship are different, good grooming does help in setting the first impression on the same or opposite gender. Human beings are wired to be receptive to nicely groomed people. So when you are going out, always ensure that look your best, or at least try to!
2. Help People
Offering help to individuals is good ice breaker to start the conversation. It is very likely that the other person will be much more receptive to you also since you are offering to help. Try to help but don’t go overboard because that reflects neediness and is a turn off.
3. Always talk about common interests
The first stage of any relationship is acquaintance. Once you have established that, try to engage in topics which you are both interested in. The goal is to create resonance and to talk on things which both of you mostly agree upon . Avoid debatable topics at all costs such as politics, and religion. Or if you feel that you two are not agreeing or have different opinions to a particular topic, change the subject gradually without showing any disrespect / disinterest.
4. Listen but provide your valuable inputs too
The biggest gift that one can give to any individual is not a material thing but the time and attention. When your new friend is speaking, give your utmost attention and hear their side of story with respect. It shows that you are not only listening to their points but Hearing them too (Both are poles apart).
At the same time, you should provide your valuable inputs too. After all, a good conversation requires two way participation. And its equally important that you do not change your opinion to match with them. If you have a point that differs from them, state it with politeness and respect.
5. Avoid telling your weakness in the initial stages
While we have all our some areas where we could improve upon, telling them to the other party is not a good idea in the initial stages of friendship. Its not mandatory to state every thing positive about yourself, in fact you shouldn’t do that at all as it can make you look like a Narcissistic person. Focus on telling neutral things about yourself.
6. Don’t ask personal questions in the beginning
Even if you are having an honest interest, refrain from asking questions that are near to personal things. These topics include how much money you are making, what religion you follow, type of clothing, their ideologies, the political parties that they support or disagree with, what health problems they are suffering from, what medications they take and etc.
7. Make time for social outing for the two of you only
There are numerous things to do together. Eating or playing games is an excellent way of getting to know each other. It also allows you to be your real self.
Tip: – If the other individual is only interested in social outing with other people involved too, then its a indication that they are not enthusiastic about spending time alone with you, like friends do.
8. Be prepared for not receiving equal reciprocation
Making new friends is lot like dating, except that it is easier and usually less hurtful when the other person is not enthusiastic about you as you are about them. You have to be mentally prepared that no matter how good you are, some people will not resonate with your thoughts, perceptions and attitudes. If you feel that the other party is less interested in befriending you, simply make lesser and lesser efforts on your part. If they still do not change, then its time to find other people 🙂 There is no lack of them.
It can take some time to make friends in your thirties. However, there are plenty of people who are looking for new friends in their thirties, so you are certainly far from alone. Take your time and expect to put in a time, energy and effort too. Once you have new friends, a new world of adventure and joy will open up for the both of you.