After you have gone through a breakup, you know that the heart and mind suffer from fresh wounds, which require time and the right attitude to heal. Now, whether you really want to leave the relationship for good and move forward, or you are trying to win your ex back, there is certainly an immense power in silence. It does a lot of things and the most important of them is to build your self-esteem as you are no longer obsessing with the other person.
You might be thinking that silence means harnessing hatred and resentment towards the other person, when in fact, silence is all about leaving everything behind, forgiving, and looking forward without the other individual. But there are more things silence does. And this in-depth article is a sincere attempt to explain that. But before we continue to the main topic, let us ponder over 2 mins on the below question, which is:
Is Silence a Way to show anger or normalcy after a breakup?
Silence can never be an expression of normalcy. Human beings are hard-wired to seek other individuals, even for platonic relationships. In friendships, when one party is silent, it usually means that they are upset with the other for some other reason. Now whether that reason for being upset is justified, is another topic for discussion. But when it comes to silence after the breakup, it usually means the person is taking the time to heal up, and then return to normalcy, in the hopes of reviving the relationship or staying at least amicable; or taking time to heal up and move forward.
The real power of being silent after a breakup
If you tend to remain silent after a breakup and not share so much rapport via text or call, it certainly sends out a strong message. Such as the following
1.Shows that you are capable to be fully happy without them: – After the breakup, when you don’t make an effort to reach out to the other, it gives the impression that you are doing happy and great without them. It certainly takes time for your mind to shift onto other things while it was used to think about your partner. But if you choose to remain silent for a very long time, then not only you make the other person curious about you but you also build your self-esteem.
2.It increases the curiosity about you: – When you are focused on building yourself up and shifting your world to a whole new thing, it makes the other individual curious about you. If you were a mighty extrovert, who couldn’t wait to share your daily routine with them, then remaining silent will only add a layer of mystery about yourself. And human beings tend to have a liking for mysterious people, even for exes. In our life experience, we have observed that it’s good to have a thin layer of mystery surrounding ourselves.
3. The power game: – Legends have rightly said that it is beneficial to be in power and control and do great things for yourself and others, rather than being in a merciful state of another individual and not able to do much when you are treated with less respect and dignity. The one who holds higher power in the relationship tends to do less chasing. If you are calling your ex, with one or other excuse just to be in their contact, it tells them that you are still reeling, but yearning for their proximity.
Now, there are some other scenarios too. If your intent is to get back, then you could very well check on them regularly to clear up the problems. However, the impression from you should reflect that you care about the person and relationship but not desperate to make things usual like before at the cost of self-esteem and respect. If you observe that the other individual is not receptive to you like before, then the only thing best for you is to practice silence. That will not only help you but will also make you perceived as a more respectful and dignified individual. We don’t know anyone yet who do not want to be perceived in such a manner, that too by their exes!
4. Helps you to move on: – If you observe nature and dive deep into metaphysics, you will come to know that Nature avoids vacuum at all costs. So if you shift your mind or try to keep it engaged on a new idea, or new thought process, the old one will die a natural death. Holding on to thought is like stagnate water, which doesn’t do anything well.
5. You will look forward to notching up your value: – There is immense value in raising our perceived value by learning a skill, achieving something, regaining fitness, and a healthy mindset. When we incorporate such changes in our life, people give us more attention and treat us better, something which raises our self-esteem to a great height and makes us feel less miserable about the breakup.
Now that we have discussed the advantages of using the silent method, there are three possible scenarios after break up for which you can use your silence. Those three scenarios are discussed below.
Scenario 1: – You want to get back to your Ex by using the power of silence
Many times, lack of transparency and communication can make us take impulsive decisions and two individuals may decide to break up. However, when silence and no-contact are practiced for a long time, the anger and resentment settles down and makes you more understanding towards the thought process which led to the break up in the first place. There is definitely a cooling-off period and it takes weeks, if not months that we start to look objectively. May you said something wrong that your partner didn’t like. Or maybe they uttered something insensitive and illogical to you in the heat of the moment. Whatever the reason could be for break up, if you maintain the no-contact rule for at least a week, there is every likelihood that it will help in reviving the relationship.
When people are in relationship, it is hard for them to digest that the other party can be extremely happy without their presence too. This cooling -off period also allows them to ponder over their thoughts, actions and belief towards you which have bubbled up and exploded in the form of break up.
Scenario 2: – You want to be amicable and good friends after the breakup
If your aim is to make the person realize his/her mistake for the breakup and be on good terms, then silence is a powerful behavior. When the emotions have cooled down, and have become somewhat platonic from romantic, then you resume your normal chit chats. This does two things. First, it lets the other person come to know about their mistakes. Secondly, it makes them more respectful to you because you are not seeking them at all like before.
And once you resume your normal self platonic behavior, then you can continue to be good with each other, and help each other out for various endeavors. Do you remember the initial days when you didn’t had a strong attraction towards them? Recall your behavior during those days and play it out with them. The other party will accept your decision. They will respect you plus you will walk with your head held high. A sweet scenario for both of you!
Scenario 3: – You want to move on by forgiving him/her
If you had a bitter break off, where you are unable to accept their actions, behaviors towards you, so much so that there is absolutely zero chance of reconciliation, then all you need to do is simply forgive them and maintain total silence. Forgiving and to stop your mind from dwelling upon them is going to take some time. But it’s the best course of action for your mental health. No-contact is also the politest way of letting them know that their actions and behaviors towards you were totally uncalled for. Remember, silence towards them does not mean harboring hatred and resentment. What we mean is complete silence with forgiveness.
How we would use silence in such situation?
Let’s speak from our personal perspective. Whether our aim is to get back, stay amicable, or just move on, we would enjoy silence for a few days. Once the heat is settled down, we may reply back to them (If they do the initiative). The rapport would be platonic, bland, and not so enthusiastic and the frequency of replying back to them would decrease too. However, if they do require some sort of genuine help, we would provide them some sort of help (if not full help) because legends have it that helping others is helping ourselves only.
As already stated in the initial paragraph, silence is never an expression of normalcy after break up. You can choose to end the relationship in an amicable manner and walk with your head held high. Call it difference of perceptions, or lack of awareness, lack of wisdom on their part that caused them to behave wrongly with you. But harboring negativity and resentment along with silence is not the ideal way because we are here on Earth for a very short period of time and our aim should be to enjoy every moment with tranquility, peace and dignity.